Look What My Asshole Wife Got Me For Christmas!
December 26th, 2008
A LEXUS WITH A FUCKING RED BOW ON IT! JUST LIKE I DEMANDED! GOD I LOVE HER !!!!!
He went to Jared…YOU GO TO HELL.
December 15th, 2008
GET THIS OFF MY TV
In space no one can hear you scream, “That’s what she said.”
December 15th, 2008
After the longest, hardest spacewalk, there’s nothing quite like getting some greasy repairs done on your gummed-up joint. Am I right, space-fellas?!
And speaking of the NBA…
December 14th, 2008Back in my hometown of the ATL for awhile, last night I took in the Atlanta Hawks’ righteous thumping of the Cleveland Cavaliers and Lebron “King” James. Midway through the game, I came up with the perfect heckle for all the red-staters in the crowd to yell at Lebron:
“NO KING BUT JESUS!!!!”
Burger King James —^
Yet despite my best efforts, I couldn’t get a chant going. And here I thought this city was Christ-centered.
Jesus wept.
Speaking of Popeye…
December 11th, 2008Cubist Popeye reminded me of this sign I once saw posted outside a Popeyes restaurant in Brooklyn:
Officially licensed NBA promotion or just good life advice? You make the call!
Give this wonderful man his own show!
December 4th, 2008Fabulous little Dwight, the sixth Real Housewife of Atlanta, pontificating over a pedicure:
“Who was this wonderful person that was giving a fashion show with no fashions? How dreadful.”
Your Band Name Here
December 3rd, 2008
Guy’s Night In 2!
November 25th, 2008The deuce is loose!
Ingredients:
Me
A bottle of Sangiovese
Online poker
Mood lighting
Neil Young’s After the Gold Rush
Stir and serve!
I am such a gay old fart. And yes, by that I mean a fart that came out of an old gay guy.
OK, phew.
November 22nd, 2008
I mean, can shit get any fucking worse?
November 21st, 2008